Part 1- Needs vs Wants

To say people are nervous is an understatement.  It seems these days, everybody has something to worry about.  Dealing with stress has become seemingly a constant obsession. With the economy in flux, for some people their primary consternation is money.  For others it’s worrying about the political climate, good or bad.  Yet for others still, as our society ages, health is a constant stress point.

What Keeps You Up At Night?

So regardless of what’s waking  you up at night, all of our collective goals should be how we equip ourselves with the tools to deal with what’s on our mind.  One place to start is by looking within.  Think about the stories you’re telling yourself and the where that narrative leads you.  Anyone who’s ever been married has been a part of this conversation.  2 spouses walk into a room and one spouse declares “It’s cold in here” and the other spouse is in shorts and a shirt and announces that they are quite comfortable.  I wonder how many perfectly good lunches have been ruined over an argument that started just like this.  So which one is right?  Political correctness might argue that they both are.  But since words matter, I contend that our spouse in shorts is the winner here.  Why?  Because one spouse made a declarative statement, arguably of fact and other made a statement relative to only how the temperature was affecting them.   If the temperature-challenged member of our duo would have made the statement “I’m cold in here”,  then that would been an unarguable stance. 

Does Your Attitude Really Matter?

How do you deal with stress? Which outlook do you have on life?  Are you of the school that everyone and everything around you should change to impact your comfort or situation?  Or do you take the stance that you can only control how you feel, act and more importantly react to the world around you. History has proven thoughts matter. My contention is that the former will always be setting themselves up to feel like the victim of the circumstances around them.  While they latter feels, at some level, they have some control over their world and can adapt to what comes at them.  In the literary classic, “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale, Dr. Peale makes a very convincing argument about how much of our daily attitude really does control our daily altitude, While you may not be able to conquer the universe overnight, simply changing your internal dialogue can give you your power back to overcome many of the fears and self-doubts that plague us all.

What’s the Difference Between Needs and Wants?

The second area to really examine in your life is to define the difference

Between what you need and what you want.  Maslow’s Hierchy of Needs explains it pretty succinctly:

Once our needs are met, only then can we truly be happy trying to attain our wants.  Yet too many people confuse the two. 

If you slow down, take a breath and ask yourself, “Are my needs being met?”  Then rest assured, your wants will come. This is not to say that you should live in a “Pollyanna-world” and just hope and pretend all will become right.  If you do, then you’re back to placing yourself squarely as a victim of circumstances.  Instead, once you concede your needs are being met, then you can replace all of the energy you spent stressing over things instead with the focus about how to can truly get what you want out of life.

Take Control of Your Thoughts – You’ve Earned That Privilege

Remember, as much as chronic multi-taskers may want to argue the point, it’s been proven time and time again, that the human brain only as the ability to process one coherent thought at a time.  What does that mean to you?  Now that you know you can be in control of your thoughts, then you get to decide what thoughts you’re giving yourself permission to have.  So next time you feel yourself starting to say, “It’s cold in here” stop right there.  Instead say “I’m cold in here”.   That minute change gives you the power to simply put on a sweater on and  change your circumstances.  If you change your circumstances, you change your life.

Surround yourself with people that will tell you the truth and truly care about your wellbeing. Not sure where to start, let us help. Go out and make it a great day.

Check back next week for Part 2 of our Series: Dealing With Stress – Does Everything Suck?